


Sixty Seconds

by Desmenn



Category: Homestuck, TiMER (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Complete, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Sadstuck, Self-Doubt, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, Swearing, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desmenn/pseuds/Desmenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if, through the help of a simple device, you could see the exact time you had left before you met your soul mate?<br/>Well, there is such a thing. It is called a timer. It seemed like everyone was getting one. And hell, Dave was just curious. He never expected the soul mate he got. It wasn't supposed to turn out like that.<br/>But with a 100% accuracy, there was no way the timer could be wrong. Right?</p><p>(now complete)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: The Clocks Count Down

**Author's Note:**

> The idea is based off the movie TiMER, which I think is on Netflix. (I own nothing)  
> Updates will be maybe once a week, at least one a month. Sorry, I have a job. :/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timers never lie.

The craze started spring of last year. It seemed like by the end of winter every girl, teenager, and couple in town had one. A timer. A simple little counter placed in your wrist. As quick and painless as getting your ears pierced. Only this was not just some decorative flash of jewelry. It was a shiny thin piece of metal with a faux-glass screen that predicted the exact moment you would meet your soul mate. It had 100% accuracy. It was always right, always spot on.  
The idea of knowing when you would meet your soul mate put a firm spin on building romantic relationships. Some girls would force their boyfriends into the procedure, only to leave him cold when his timer did not match hers. But that's the thing. There was no point wasting time and effort on something that was not meant to be.  
That was for the girls who's time had not showed up on the device. If your other half was timerless, you simply did not have numbers. It was a blank screen. Unable to read.  
The idea of getting one had budded in Dave Strider's mind around a year ago. When the fad first started. He was curious. No amount of irony or shitty lies was going to hide that. He knew it. His brothers knew it. There was no way he was going to be able to get it done without them finding out. With out them teasing him for it.  
Not that they had room to talk. Dirk had gotten one as soon as a clinic came to town. His still had a year left until he met his partner, too. Bro had gotten his only a few months ago. His was blank. So Dave figured it was about time he swallowed his pride and broke open the piggy back. Today was the day.  
Dirk had an hour to kill before work, so when Dave came knocking on his door demanding to be taken to town, he haughtily agreed. They where in his truck on their way to what felt like destiny within ten minutes.  
"So you finally decided to say fuck it and give in, huh? You know it's expensive, and I ain't helping you pay," Dirk glanced at his younger brother as he pulled onto the highway. Dave was tapping his foot nervously, staring out the window with darting eyes.  
"I know how much it costs, give me some credit here. I've got the money, don't you worry about that," Dave narrowed his eyes at a sign indicating they only had a few miles until their exit. Dave could feel the anxious jitters flitting in his stomach and settling heavily in his chest. He licked his lips and brushed some hair off his sun glasses.  
"Well what do you think she's going to be like?" Dirk asked, trying to get Dave to cool down some by getting him to talk. The other seemed to take the bait, because his shoulder slouched some and he raised his eyebrows, tilting his head back.  
"She's going to have dark hair, tan, nice body, cute face. She'll be the snarkiest chick you ever talked to. And she will be able to lay down the sickest rhymes." He smirked at his own stupid response, not actually having any expectations for what his dream girl would be like. Honestly, he had not really given it any thought at all. He was ready for any girl the universe wanted to throw at him. Be it tall, skinny, short, fat. He was not a very picky guy and prided himself in being open minded and accepting about things like that.  
"Well considering who she's going to be stuck with, you better hope she can put up with your bullshit," Dave's brother noted with a snort. The younger boy rolled his eyes with a click of his tongue.  
"The only bs I have is you and Bro. Besides, she will be able to put up with anything. She's tough. Just watch." He put a foot up on the dash and relaxed against the seat.  
The older boy pulled off the interstate. The two Strider's were singing a song on the radio off-key while Dirk drove. The windows were rolled down, letting the sweet summer air in. It whipped their hair around, making everything feel a little lighter, a little happier.  
The clinic was just off the highway turnpike. With a few sharp turns and a haphazard parking job, their were to their destination.  
The jitters were back. Swallowing hard, Dave got out of the truck with a nervous smile plastered on his face.  
The parking lot was practically empty. The waiting room wasn't much better, save for a young couple in the back that couldn't be older than Dave. The room was small but spaceish, white walls, white floors. Decorative red lamps sat on dark tables beside colorless chairs. Photos of happy couples littered the walls. It had an atmosphere of joy. Dirk took the necessary papers form the woman at the counter and filled them out while Dave paid. The procedure cost a pretty penny.  
Taking seats by the door, they both pulled out their phones and started messing around to pass the time.  
It wasn't ten minutes before the couple, who Dave noticed was two girls, was called back. He went back to skimming through apps. Ten more minutes and the girls returned hand-in-hand with wide grins. They must have matched up. He couldn't help but smile, seeing them so happy.  
"Dave Strider," a woman called from the door. He stood with Dirk, they were led down a short hallway to a small white room. "Doctor Egbert will be with you in a moment," the nurse informed the two with a reassuring smile before closing the door.  
"Hey what if she's it?" Dirk waggled his eyebrows and sat in a chair. Dave laid on the lounge-like medical chair in the center of the room.  
"You're retarded. She's like thirty. You want her to go to jail?" the underage boy shook his head and made himself comfortable.  
"She can wait three years for you to be legal."  
Before Dave could offer his reply, there was a sharp knock on the door and a man in a red shirt and slacks stepped inside. He looked at each of them and gave a small nod, "I am Doctor Egbert." The other boys nodded in greeting. Walking over to the counter he started preparing the instruments needed.  
"So you want to see when you will meet that lucky girl? You're a handsome young man, I'm sure she will be very beautiful. Is this your brother with you?" He sat on a stool and spun around with a small gun-like apparatus in hand. Dave eyed it nervously, but held his arm out for the man.  
"Yeah I've been wanting this for like half a year but I just saved up enough money," the young boy chuckled to himself, looking at the wall as the doctor took his arm in his hands and pressed the cold metal against his wrist.  
"Alright, take a deep breath for me and relax," the Doctor asked in a calm voice. Dave complied. As soon as he exhaled, the man clicked the trigger and there was a clanking noise as the gun clicked the thin timer into place. It stung and left him a bit shaky, but he had a small triumphant smirk on his face as he brought his wrist up to see what it said.  
000 days, 000 hours, 001 minute, 34 seconds.  
"Holy shit, it says 60 seconds," Dave exclaimed, showing it to the other two men. Dirk scowled at him for using a curse word, he still wasn't allowed to do that, and the doctor just raised an eyebrow in surprise.  
"Well it is very rare, but there could be something internally wrong with it. They are supposedly 100% accurate, but when something isn't put together right, it doesn't work right. So if you two don't mind I will wait here while it counts down to be sure it is working correctly," Doctor Egbert said in mild fascination. Dave sat up and rested his hand on his knee so they could all see it. His heart was beating faster with each second that was shed.  
What would she be like? Maybe she worked here. But that would mean she was older than him. He was not sure how to feel about that. All he could think about was all the different things he should say when he meets her.  
Thirty seconds. His breathing was starting to come out a little forced.  
Twenty seconds. His hands were clamming up.  
Ten seconds. He was almost shaking from excited nerves.  
Five seconds. His foot was tapping like crazy against the floor.  
Four. Three. Two. One.  
Dididididi. A loud alarm sounded from the timer on Dave's wrist, matched by a muffled echo simultaneously in the hallway. There was a quick burst of knocks on the door and they all jumped slightly, looking up at the closed door. Just outside, behind that thin piece of wood, stood Dave's soul mate. The thought made him bite his tongue and take in a sharp breath.  
"Dad! My stupid timer just went off. I was waiting for you in your office and it suddenly started counting down. I don't know if I broke it but I was kind of messing with it," a voice called from outside. Dave's mouth fell open in shock and Dirk slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. The Doctor looked distraught, he was speechless. It wasn't a girls voice that spoke. No, it was obviously a males voice. And from the sound, he was around Dave's age.  
"J-John! Go back to my office, I will be right there in a few minutes!" the doctor finally said after his son started banging on the door again. There was a muffled grunt and then the sound of footsteps leading away. The doctor stood and excused himself, telling the Strider's to stay while he dealt with his son. As soon as the doctor was out of earshot Dirk started laughing uncontrollably. Dave just sat with a frown, staring at the now blinking timer resting on zero.  
This had to be the exception. The one time these things were wrong. There was no way, not a chance, that his soul mate was a boy. That just was not an option. He liked girls. He'd never even thought of any guy in that way ever. This thing was wrong. It had to be. 

John went back to his father's office, not bothering to close the door. He sat on the small sofa in front of the window and looked at flashing zeros on his wrist, unimpressed. He never thought it would work. He only got it because his dad worked at the clinic. The stupid thing had only just started working a few minutes ago, and even when it got to zero he didn't meet one new person. There was no way around it. It was shit. He scoffed at the device, putting his hand back down as his father came into the room. A rush of nervous energy followed him.  
Taking a seat at the desk he looked at his son with a stern, yet anxious expression. John raised a brow and sat up on the couch.  
"What kind of face is that? You look like you are about to give me some awkward fatherly talk about stuff I already know," he pushed his glasses back up his nose and rested his elbow on the armrest so he could lean his chin into his hand.  
"John, you timer isn't broken. I was with a client when it went off. Their's went off at the exact same time. And you know that these devices are highly sensitive and perfectly accurate, so I know that despite how I am sure you are going to react, the blatant truth here is that your soul mate is just down the hall in that room," his father informed slowly, watching John for a reaction.  
His son smiled wide, revealing braces and slightly crooked teeth. He sat up a little straighter and looked at his dad with blue eyes full of hope.  
"Seriously? What does she look like? Can I go meet her?" he nearly bounced in his seat in excitement. He wasn't much of a lady's man, but knowing that his life partner was just down the hall can get a guy excited.  
Mr. Egbert frowned and looked at his son with a cautious gaze.  
"That's the thing, son. It turns out that your soul mate," he paused and knit his brow together, "is a boy."  
The words sunk in slowly. A boy? That didn't make any sense. Why would his soul mate be a boy? That was just stupid. What the hell kind of prank was his dad pulling?  
"This the the worst prank ever. I'm not even going to go along with it. I know you are lying. Now tell me when I can take this stupid timer off. It didn't even work," John rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow again.  
His father sighed in irritation, giving his son a stern and serious look.  
"John I am serious. The odds of this happening are slim. I think you need to meet him and you need to take a few days to think this over," his father's voice was demanding and hard, putting an end to any sense of it being a joke.  
John gaped at his dad in disbelief.  
"You have got to be kidding me. I'm not gay. I'm not a homosexual. I'm straight. I like girls. This is so stupid. This whole thing is stupid! This timer is stupid! And that stupid guy down the hall is stupid and I am not going to indulge you in this! I'm going home!" He stormed out of the office without another word, slamming the door as he left.  
As he exited the building he barely paid any mind to the boy who held the door open for him. He was too pissed, too flabbergasted to care about some random act of kindness. All he wanted was to go home and watch the movie he had recorded on DISH last night. 

"Hey I have to get to work soon. We can't wait for the doctor, I have to take you home," Dirk said a few minutes after the older man left. Dave nodded and followed his brother back into the waiting room. The woman at the desk bid them a good day and they went to leave. Just as Dave was about to walk out, he heard loud footsteps and turned to see an angry looking brunette striding toward the door. He held it open for him as he rushed past. The blonde could not stop himself from watching as the boy walked quickly down the sidewalk away from him. John was his soul mates name, right? That is what the doctor had said.  
What if that was him? He could just call out the name and see if the boy in shorts turned around. The idea made his heart jump in a way he wasn't fully comfortable with.


	2. Chapter Two: Zero to Blank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the Timer was a bad idea.

Even though he waited all that time, spent all that money, wasted an hour of his life, with his stupid little 'love clock' down on zero, it was pretty pointless to keep it on. So, with the bitter feeling that comes when you do something you have been earger to do only for it to die in your face, Dave swaggled some loan money from his brothers and got a ride back to the clinic. To get the damned thing removed.  
It did not even work. So it counted down, and a boy appeared, and their timers went off at the same time, but that did not mean anything. That was a coincidence. That was a stupid slip of luck. An ironic bitch slap from mother destiny. There was no way that was the real deal there, no way. The two ends just did not add up. And the more Dave thought about it, the more frustrated he got.  
So a boy. An average looking boy, with brown hair and shorts. He looked normal. There was nothing special or exceptional about him, not from what Dave saw in that brief exchange they had at the door of the clinic a few days ago. He barely even saw his face because the boy, John was it, was in too much of a hurry. All he got a good look at was the back of his head as he rushed down the sidewalk.  
It was his Bro who took him the next time. He stopped in the parking lot of the clinic and told Dave he would be back in an hour to pick him up and if he left the place without texting him he would kick his ass. So Dave sighed, and went inside feeling kind of stupid. He had not had the damn thing a week and he was already back to get it off. Hopefully the nurse or doctor would not recognize him, would not mention it. But it is kind of hard to forget someone when their timer ends at the same time as your son and they both are sworn heterosexuals admently denying the events credibilty.  
Maybe all of the stupid phenomenon surrounding his one 'soul mate' was just a big prelude to him finding out that, actually, guess what, he does not have one. He was doomed to live his days out in solitary; for whatever reason, his one true love was never born. Would that not be the biggest kick to the dick? Well, considering how secretly excited Dave had been to find all the love stuff out for sure, yeah , that would be a pretty low blow.  
Dave walked into the lobby with a gust of warm air swirling in around him. It made his hair dance and his shirt ripple. The door closed and he walked towards the counter, smoothing his hair back down and making sure his sunglasses where on right. It was summer, it was still okay to wear them, so he did not get any weird looks over the habit.  
"Oh you back so soon, honey? Is everything alright?" the woman asked as he took the papers to fill out. He pursed his lips and nodded, standing at the tall counter to scribble in the information needed.  
"It's on zero and I didn't meet anyone, I would ask for a refund if you guys gave them," he muttered once the forms where complete. Not waiting to hear her reply, he spun around on his heel and scanned the lobby for a seat. There was only one other person in the room. Seeing him made Dave freeze and his heart race. That boy was the last person he wanted or expected to see.  
Wait, his dad worked there, why would he not be there? His timer is on zero, too, he has just as much a right to be in that room as Dave. That did not change the fact that nervous jitters filled Dave's stomach as he took a seat near the boy.  
It was just a coincidence. He is not the one. That is not even a possiblity. That is all Dave could think as he tried to steal small glances at him without making it obvious.  
He still looked normal. Tan skin, average build, messy hair, blue eyes. Nothing stood out. Nothing that screamed special or exciting. Even if it was not a coincidence, he was not the type of person Dave had imagined himself with. Some kid sitting in a chair with earphones in, watching something on his phone.  
He must have zoned out after a few minutes, because when John took out his earphones and stuffed his phone in his pocket, turning toward the blonde, Dave started a bit.  
"You're the boy who held the door for me a few days ago, right?" John asked pointedly. When he opened his mouth, Dave noticed he had braces. Blue ones. They matched his eyes.  
"Yeah that'd be me. You were practically running out of here. What the hell was that about?" he replied, bringing his ankle up to rest on his knee. Now that he could actually look the boy in the face, he could not help but stare at the deep blue eyes watching him. It left him unsettled, unsure. He opted to look just above his head instead- not like John would be able to tell with him wearing sunglasses- and ignore the way his stomach was twisting and his heart was stumbling.  
"My dad kind of pissed me off. He was saying some stupid stuff that didn't even make sense. Why are you back anyways?" John inquired.  
"My timer broke. It's on zero and I haven't seen one nice dame anywhere around," Dave answered, still avoiding looking at the other boys face. It made him feel weird, uneasy. He did not like it.  
"Mine is broken too. The piece of shit got to zero yesterday and I didn't meet one person either. My dad tried to convince me that there was a boy who's timer went off with mine," he rolled his eyes and scoffed, sitting back in his chair. "My dad likes to prank me but I never thought he would try something this baseless. I'm not even gay."  
With his words, a little sting of crushed hope rang in Dave's chest. Hope he did not even know he was creating, and only realized when he felt it shatter with John's words.  
Before Dave could come up with some hollow, bullshit response, a nurse poked her head through the door and called John back. Dave watched him go, trying to figure out the small torent of emotions running through him in those few seconds.  
A few minutes passed with him just staring at the tiled floor. A soft beep pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked at his phone, but there were not new notifications. From the corner of his eyes, he saw flashing digits on his wrist. When he looked at the small device imbedded in his skin, he was not even surprised to see that it was blank. That only happened when your mate did not have one. That only happened when the boy you were destined to be with was just down the hall getting his removed. Dave sighed and ran his hands through his hair.  
This is just the greatest fucking thing that ever happened, isn't it? Just the greatest little love story ever. Two boys who are supposedly perfect for each other, but neither of them like the D. Who would have guessed?  
There were no more doubts in Dave's mind. No way around it. No way to avoid the obvious truth. John was just a normal boy, but something about him sparked a little seed of interest inside Dave. He may not be head over heals for the kid, but there was no denying his uncalled for urge to befriend the nerdy looking brunette.  
John never came back out, but the nurse did come and usher Dave back. He could not help but glance down the hallway into the doctor's office. He saw the boy, for a brief second before going into his room, sitting in a large desk chair staring at his wrist with a concentrated expression.  
The woman told Dave to lay back on the reclined chair, and he did. She took what looked like a large set of tweezers, and gently worked the thin timer off his wrist. It was not held on by much, and it did not take much to get off. But it did hurt way more than getting it put on. And it left four small red puncture marks in the shape of a rectangle on his wrist.  
The woman smiled and put a large bandaid on it.  
Dave ended up having to wait in the parkinglot for a sold fifteen minutes before his brother got back to get him. Standing out on black pavement, under the Texas sun in the middle of summer, can set anyone in a bad mood. That was not the whole reason Dave got home grumpy, though, part of it could be attributed to the fact that despite what he had been trying to avoid for the last few days, his supposed soul mate was infact a boy. Albeit a fairly attractive, blue eyed boy with a nice tan. That did not change the fact that he was a he and not a she. Dave was not sure he could see that working out well.  
One one hand, he wanted to see John again. To get to know him even. To be his friend and show off for him, impress him, make him laugh.  
On the other, he never wanted to see that kid again. Never wanted to feel the weird anxious tension in his stomach when he looked at him. He wanted to forget he ever met him, and pretend that timer was wrong. Forget he ever even got a timer. Settle down with a nice girl and have some kids maybe, like he thought he would be doing.  
Thinking about it seriously, trying to put himself as the husband of some girl just did not add up right anymore. It was like fifteen years of subconscious planning had disappeared. Swept away by some kid. He was conflicted, confused.  
Why he thought this whole timer thing would be a good idea, he was not sure. Maybe he could have passed by the kid and never given it a second thought, never having to know that was the boy he was meant to be with. But no, he had to be a curious little shit and get it and now it had meaning. Now it was serious. Now he knew.  
There was no chance of getting this boy off his mind now. It was like a sick paradox of destiny. He get's the timer that points out the boy only for that to draw in his attention. No turning back now.  
Maybe, though, if he gave it enough time, and he did not see John again, Dave could forget about all this. Maybe.  
He could try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked the response so here is the second chapter.


	3. Chapter Three: A Coincidence?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul mates are hard things to accept sometimes.

Life carried on. The days went by normally, no dramatic epiphany or heartfelt longing rooted in that slightly awkward meeting with his so called soulmate. Things were normal. Staying up late on the internet, eating junk food, being tricked into doing his brothers choirs. It was like any other summer.  
Maybe he tried too hard not the think about the boy. Maybe pretended too much that he didn't even remember his name. Because nothing can set a person more firmly in someones mind than trying to act like you aren't thinking about them at night when you fall asleep or in the middle of the day while you do dishes. That's kind of the point though, in some way, that by him attempting to distance himself from those thoughts it only brought them closer. 

He woke up like any other day, somewhere around noon, with the curtains of his windows drawn tight.  
The sound of the television drifted through his wall from the living room, muffled talking. His brothers must both be home. Dirk was only a year older than Dave, Bro having seven years on him, but they all still lived together in a cosey little three-bedroom apartment block uptown. That was what they had agreed on, to stick together until Dave was eighteen and then they would go their own ways with no hard feelings. Maybe they would visit each other, maybe not, but even if they didn't call or talk after they moved out, the brotherly love that stretched between them would remain. That would never change. They didn't show it like most, but they cared about each other.  
Dave breathed heavily through his nose and sat up, cracking as many bones as he could without standing. He sat on the bed for a few minutes, squinting at his surroundings as his eyes slowly adjusted. Blonde hair and pale skin wasn't all he shared with his siblings, varying levels albinism ran in the family. Dave having the most rare iris pigmentation. Dark lenses fixed the light-sensitivity and the stares they got.  
He draped his legs over the side of his bed and stood, padding across the wire strewn floor, grabbing his shades off his desk as he walked out of his room. The lights where rarely used in their house, considering their little issues with it. But Dave was used to the dimness, so he moved confidently to the kitchen.  
Dirk was lounged on the futon, still in his pajamas, lazily watching a rerun of some 70's vampire movie on MTV.  
Managing to find some left over fast food, Dave didn't even bother to warm it up, he just grabbed it and went back to his room. Bro wasn't in the living room so he figured that he must be either at work or still asleep. His sleeping schedule was even more fucked up than Dave's.  
He sat in his desk chair, idly eating his food and checking his phone. Four new messages, all from his cousin.  
Rose: As you know, my mother sometimes likes to pretend she still exercises some means of parental guidance over me. Her latest motherly escapade being to prohibit my solitary enjoyment of the company of my lady friend.  
Rose: She has offered one alternative to her being our personal chaperon, which would be the accompany-ship of you, as she trusts you. So, dear, sweet, handsome cousin, as I know you have no plans, I am employing your availability for a mildly intimate affair at the movie theater tonight.  
Rose: Of course, your intimacy is optional, considering it will be a date between myself and my girlfriend.  
Rose: Ah, it slipped my mind that you sleep until two. I'll let you get back to me when you wake up then.  
Dave smirked, plopped the last bite of food into his mouth and wiped his fingers off on his shorts before he replied to the texts. His cousin was a year and half younger than him, and her mom liked to be randomly strict with her dating so Dave tagging along wasn't a strange thing. He would usually just ride with them there and sit as far away as possible. He was a good cousin like that.  
Dave: you have to buy me some food and i get to sit in between you two to make sure no in house perverse copulating goes on  
Dave: dont want you pregnant  
Rose: That would be a travesty. We will get you at 6:00.  
He spent the next three hours mucking around in his room, only going to shower at half past five.  
It was warm outside, the sun was still up, the air was humid. Ah, beautiful Texas weather. Called for a tank top and shorts for most, but Dave liked the heat. He was in his normal jeans and tee. His sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, shielding his sensitive eyes from the harsh sun. A cream colored car idles by the road, Rose in the passenger seat. Dave climbed into the back and greeted his aunt. Well, step-aunt. Sort of. Rose's mom was Bro's half sister.  
"Where's your lady?" he asks, fastening the seat belt--much to the approval of his aunt. She pulled back onto the road. Rose does not turn around to answer him, she does however pull down the sun visor and check her makeup in the mirror.  
"She's meeting us there. He mother is still on the fence from the last time you drove us," Rose turns to give her mother a look before continuing, "while 'pretending' to have had a few drinks."  
Her mother feigns offense, "You both seemed to think it was entertaining at the time. And I was the only one on the road, so really I don't see the problem. Her mother needs to calm down."  
"It was less of us being entertained and more of her uncomfortably giggling," Rose corrected, closing the sun visor with a snap of her wrist. Her mother rolled her eyes and continued driving without furthering the argument. Dave stifled an amused snort.  
He enjoyed listening to their banter, it was a pleasant change from his conversations at home. Being the youngest in a house full of just boys, and brother to boot, could be hard. If they didn't like him doing something, he couldn't do it, or he will get double teamed. And no matter how strong and agile Dave liked to think he was, when two six plus foot guys knock him to the floor and sit on him, there is no getting out of that without yelling uncle.  
They were usually relatively lax about what Dave could and could not do. Aside from the obvious stuff, like do your best in school and don't do anything stupid, he could usually get them to let him do whatever. Plus he'd gotten good at talking himself out of trouble lately. Not that he's been getting in trouble. They still just think it's funny to ground him anytime he so much as mutters a curse word, which is a lot. They tell him he's too young and innocent to be saying those things, adding a worried expression or motherly sigh, much to the frustration of Dave because he knows they are just jerking him around. It was funny, he got it. It just got old, fast, and he would have really appreciate it if they would let up a bit on the whole 'ironically letting you play with swords and duel with us but not say fuck' thing.  
Pushing aside those thoughts, Dave bumped his shades back into place, brushing some hair out of his eyes with the gesture, and slid out of the car. There was a cluster of people gathering inside the theater, mostly couples. Dave followed Rose inside after bidding momma Lalonde a farewell.  
Thankfully, most everyone in the small lobby area had already paid and where just waiting for the doors to the screen rooms to open. It was a considerably small theater, with only three screen rooms, but they were almost always packed on a Saturday night like that. Dave had considered getting a part-time job down there for the summer, but Bro and Dirk had both declined giving him a ride to work, so he quickly gave up on that idea.  
Rose found Kanaya standing near the back of the crowd, leaning against a wall. She looked as idly amused as ever. Dave didn't even try to join their conversation, he just joined the end of the line for the first half-way-decent looking movie and bought a ticket. He barely had enough to get a drink and a ticket. The groups broke up after that, the doors to the rooms opening and filing in. Dave didn't wait to see which movie Rose and Kanaya went to, as per usual, he just entered his respective screen room and took a seat near the back row in the middle.  
Ads and random movie facts flashed across the screen. The sound blared around him, nearly vibrating the seats. Dave relaxed against the plush seat and siped at his Coke. Glancing at his phone there was about fifteen, twenty minutes before the movie started. More people were steadily streaming in, filling the seats.  
Not many people sat in the back, especially with the way Dave would stare at them behind his shades until they moved. Not that he didn't mind people sitting near him, he just thought it was kind of amusing to see them shooting him uncomfortable glances before walking away.  
He watched couples walk hand in hand and find seats. Parents directing their kids were to sit. Which kind of surprised him, considering this was seemed like a pretty graphic movie judging by the poster. But then again, people were getting more and more lax with what kids watched those days so he couldn't say he was too surprised.  
A few boys his age walked in, laughing loudly and shoving each other along. Boys his age were obnoxious. Cue the underlying reason his two closest friends were girls. They thankfully moved on quickly, taking their seats.  
Dave, bored with people-watching, pulled out his phone and began to browse his numerous blogs in case anyone had messaged him or sent him something since the last time he checked them. He was getting to be quiet infamous online, boasting a fairly large fan base, thanks to his random sbhj comics and off the wall YouTube videos. It was something he was proud of, but would never admit to.  
By the time he replied to the several messages and finished cleaning up his inbox, the lights were starting to dim and the preview trailers for up-and-coming movies were starting to play. He silenced his phone and shoved it in his pocket, sliding his shades up to rest on his head. The room got significantly lighter, but he didn't like to wear his shades during movies, so he put up with the mild discomfort.  
The chatting calmed slowly as the previews moved on. Just as the opening credits started, though, someones phone went off a few rows ahead of him. He audibly groaned and shifted in his seat, hearing others do the same. There was some shuffling in front of him as whoever it was tried to, from what he could see over the seats, fish the device out of their pocket. A brown head of hair bobbed up and down over the seat as they got their phone out, hurriedly answering.  
"Hello, dad, I'm in the movies now, don't call me again please," he heard a young man whisper harshly. A young man whose voice just happened to make him shoot straight to the edge of his seat and peer over the shoulders of the people in front of him to see if what he was hearing was right.  
And sure enough, there sat John, the boy from the doctor's office, bent over in shame with his phone plastered to his ear. Dave sat back in quiet shock. Well the universe just loved to throw him surprises didn't it? He wondered vaguely if he should go sit by John. Would John think he was stalking him or something?  
Before he could dwell on it too much, though, his feet where already moving and he found himself plopped down right beside the boy. John seemed surprised, at least that's what Dave gathered from the way he jumped and huffed beside him.  
"Hey you're that boy from the office! What're you doing here?" he muttered, leaning forward slightly to get a better look at Dave's face. Dave flicked his shades back down and peered over at the boy with a smirk.  
"Heard you're little phone call and decided I would take it upon myself to come and personally ensure that there are no more interruptions from you. Some people are trying to enjoy the movie here, John," he quirked an eyebrow up and silently hoped that it wasn't weird that he remembered his name.  
John didn't look very amused when he replied, "The only one interrupting the movie now is you. Look, we missed the whole opening."  
Dave just snorted and relaxed against his seat again. He propped his feet up on the chair in front of him and made himself comfortable, turning back to the movie.  
The begin was slow and Dave quickly lost interest, glancing back at John from the corner or his eyes. John sat still, intently watching the film, slowly eating popcorn. Dave was pretty sure that people with braces weren't supposed to eat popcorn, but he could be wrong.  
He couldn't help but feel hyper aware of how their elbows were almost touching on the arm rest. Or how his heart was speeding slightly at the thought. He was starting to feel a little warm, whether that had to do with John or not, he would rather not think about.  
He had to keep reminding himself that even though he was sure that those little wrist clocks said that they were destined to be together, it could never happen. The idea made him squirm. The thought of touching another guy, kissing another guy, just made him uncomfortable. Even if he was getting flustered with how close there were just sitting next to each other, Dave was sure he would never be able to hold a healthy relationship as more than friends. So those timers must have been wrong. Someone must have been wrong. There was no way that John and him could work out, he just could not image it. Despite that, the urge to befriend him, to talk to him, to get to know him, was still strong.  
He spent the majority of the movie wondering if he could start a conversation without annoying John. But every time he would think of something to say, John would shift and make Dave hold his breath in case- God forbid- their elbows touched.  
At one point John glanced over at Dave. He reacted by quickly looking away and sitting perfectly still, forgetting that it was dark and he was wearing shades so there was no way that John had seen his gaze. Nervous fear still gripped his chest until he looked down to see John offering him popcorn. He met the boys warm smile with a quick one and took a handful of the buttery snack.  
John was the one who broke the silence after that.  
"Your name is Dave, right?" he asks, passing Dave the popcorn again. The movie was at a slow point, a lot of useless dialogue.  
"Yeah, and you're John." He popped some cooked corn kernels into his mouth.  
"Do you like Hugh Jackman?" he asked, turning slightly to face Dave. He returned the motion, being able to look him straight on caused his heart to speed slightly but he pushed that away.  
"Yeah but I think he was better in X-Men, I may be biased though 'cause I'm a Marvel fan," Dave said. John snickered and bumped his elbow against Dave's, much to Dave's discomfort.  
"I didn't know you were a nerd. And here I thought you were cool with your shades and converse," John smirked and leaned back in his seat, turning back to the movie as an action scene sprang up. He was enamored in flying fists and blood within seconds. Dave stared at him for a solid minute before looking away; he was not expecting that snide little comment on his level of popularity there. Something about John's chubby cheeks and crooked teeth made him think he was a goof, a nerd. He made a note not to judge people by their looks anymore.  
The movie ended not long after, Dave was only half paying attention. He was still having trouble doing anything but thinking about how close John and he were. When the credits started rolling he didn't have to image it much longer because John stretched dramatically, shoving his hand into Dave's face. He snickered again and sat up straight. Dave righted his shades and gave him an unamused look.  
"That ended better than I thought it would. The middle was kind of boring though," John noted, shrugging as he checked his pocket for his things before taking a final sip of his Pepsi and standing.  
"Well you can't expect much out of these cheesy B-list movies," Dave reminded, gathering his trash and following John up the slightly slanted isles, through a small sea of people.  
They walked to the trash can and leaned against the wall after Dave threw away his things.  
"Did you even get your trash, John?" Dave quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms, wondering if the boy just forgot.  
"Pft, what are you my mom? They have janitors for a reason, it's their job," John shot him an incredulous glance and a small smile. Dave huffed and shook his head.  
"If I'm a nerd then you're an asshole," Dave said. John hummed in response.  
"I don't think I'm mean but I guess I do get that a lot, so I can live with that, nerd," he yawned and stretched again before making a gagging noise. Dave looked sharply over at him. He was making bluh sounds and rubbing his finger furiously over his teeth. Dave watched in silent confusion.  
He spit in the trash can a few times and rubbed his hand off on his shirt. He turned back to Dave with a frown. The blonde tilted his head a bit in confusion.  
"Remind me to never eat popcorn again, that was awful. There are still little kernels all in my braces. Damn," he grimaced and ran his tongue over his teeth. Dave smiled in return, laughing quietly to himself.  
"Dude I knew it, I saw that happening, how long have you even had those?" Dave sniffled his laughter to look up at John with an expression akin to sympathy.  
"Like two months. They suck, too," he whined.  
Dave was interrupted in his line of thought by a certain short blonde tugging roughly on his arm and looking up at him with her brightest, most doe-eyed expression she could muster.  
"Dave!" she cooed. Dave frowned and pulled his arm away, looking around for Rose's girlfriend. When he didn't see her he guessed that she had already left with her mother. He also guessed that Rose was trying to embarrass him in front of his 'friend.' Two can play at that.  
"John, this is Roseallona, she's incredible stupid so don't mind anything she says or does," Dave says in a sickeningly sweet tone. John looked slightly confused. Rose jerked her elbow into Dave's side as she stepped in front of him.  
"I just really wanted to meet Dave's boyfriend, he's been talking about you none stop since you two got together," he smiled wide and giggled. Dave narrowed his eyes at her, she took it too far.  
John forced an awkward laugh and glanced up at Dave with a frown.  
"Well I hate to burst your bubble..Roseyllan..but uh, I'm not gay. We are just friends," he took a half step away from her. She huffed loudly at his reply and shook her head, mumbling about him not being any fun. She shot Dave a glance before walking away. She had to get her rocks off some way, what better than mussing up his budding relationship with his so called soul mate. Dave gave John an apologetic look before turning to walk away. Not much to say to that. He could deny it, but by the look on John's face he wasn't sure if he would believe him.  
But John caught his sleeve as he moved to follow Rose. It was a brief gesture, just enough to get his attention. Dave turned half way to see his expression. John was offering a small sincere smile.  
"Hey nothing against you if you likes dude, I just don't go that way. We can be friends, though," he suggested. Dave stared him down for a moment, unsure of whether or not to correct his thoughts over Dave's sexuality. For some reason he decided there was no immediate need to correct him.  
"Sounds cool to me. Can I get your number?" He couldn't help but finding that pretty amusing. A nice little pick up line between two completely straight dudes. So he told himself.  
John raised an eyebrow at his little ironic quip. They exchanged numbers despite that and Dave joined Rose in her mother's car several minutes later. He couldn't help but smile as he slid his phone into his pocket. Maybe they could actually get to know each other.  
Dave laid in bed that night, listening to the soft buzz of music streaming from Bro's room, as he thought over the events of that day. The facts pulsed in the back of his mind. John was still his soul mate. That would never change. And Dave did, after all, pride himself in being open minded. He couldn't help but worry that he would grow to like John if they continued to talk. The thought of liking another boy sent a dull discomfort through his stomach. It wasn't that he was opposed to the idea. He just couldn't image himself with any one with a penis. It was something strange to him. Despite that, he couldn't stop himself from hoping that John and he would become close friends. He couldn't even ignore the thoughts of what if. If he did end up with a crush over John. If he did find himself slowly getting over the idea of kissing a boy. If he did fall for John. If it came to that. He didn't think that he would mind. 

It was three days before John texted him, as Dave had swore he wouldn't be the one to break the silence.  
John: hey wanna hang out this weekend? me and some friends are going to the park and i thought you might want to go.  
He ignored the way his heart beat sped up when he saw who it was from. He made himself wait two minutes before replying, even though that was stupid and he replied fast to everyone.  
Dave: yeah sure sounds good to me ill be sure to wear my cool shades and converse so i can throw the other nerds off my scent  
John: that's gonna be pretty hard, considering you are the biggest nerd. i bet you watch doctor who.  
Dave: bow ties are cool  
He couldn't stop from smiling as he reread their conversation; he was glad he was in his room, away from his brothers. If they say him grinning, looking at his phone, they would assume he was either watching porn and start some weird thing about it, or they would think he was talking to a girl and take his phone away to read the messages. He was doing neither, not really at least. John was a boy. That fact was getting slowly easier for Dave to accept. And honestly, it scared him a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this too way too long and I am sorry, but I am just, very, very, very lazy. But I pushed through that for you. So I hope you enjoyed, and don't worry the fluffy stuff and whatnot is soon to come, I am just trying to slowly build their relationship so excuse my slow pace. Things do pick up eventually.  
> Please review and kudo if you liked it, feedback is always welcome- good or bad.  
> Sorry this is kind of shitty in parts but if I don't get it out now I fear I never will. (Also sorry, I'm bad at writing Rose)


	4. Chapter Four: Adding Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Some feels in this one. May be triggering to some??

The weekend came quick. Too quick. Well, for someone who only left their room to shower and eat, Dave's weekend came at a normal pace. He totally wasn't obsessing over the eminent time with his supposed soul mate. Ha ha..ha.  
Okay, so that was pretty much all Dave could think about. He spent the Friday reading through blog after blog of 'First Encounters' and reading and rereading 'Check Lists' of when you find that special someone. There was no doubt in his mind at that point. As much as he hated to admit it. John was it. The one. His stomach still did weird twists and knots when he thought about it. It still seemed surreal. A boy. Wow. He still couldn't image his future with a guy. Waking up looking at a guys face. Kissing someone with a scruffy chin. Touching..ugh, he couldn't even think about that. He forced those thoughts deep deep into his subconscious. Those were thoughts reserved for self-loathing inducing wet dreams. Which, by the way, he was determined not to have.  
John texted and called him early Saturday morning to wake him up. He'd gone to bed a few hours before the sun came up, and as much as he wanted to throw his phone and call off the whole get together, he didn't. He sat up and shot John a quick shut-up-im-awake-now-you-dickshit text and then took about fifteen minutes to just surf the internet while his mind slowly woke up.  
By noon he was dressed and showered and ready to go. John spammed his phone the whole time, leaving message after message of 'are you up?!', 'dont ignore me!', 'you better get up you shit', 'ill come and drag you out of bed'. Eventually he did reply, and they decided on a place to meet in a few minutes because apparently everyone else was waiting on Dave at that point. Like he cared. He would rather stay home and mope around. Or rather, not mope, because he doesn't mope.  
Excuse him if he was still having a hard time, even after the few weeks since his timer had gone off, wrapping his head around the fact that his fucking soul mate was a guy. It was big news to swallow. It didn't help that after Dirk told Bro they had started only watching gay movies around him. Filling his room with homoerotic posters while he was out. Dave had found at least a dozen bottles of lube in various places and he was not a happy camper. Thankfully their picking didn't last long. Maybe a week at the most. Switching to cooing and coddling Dave was worse, though. He'd much rather wake up to a shirtless picture of Neal Patrick Harris than have his dick of brothers treating him like the 'twink princess he was'. Like hell.  
Walking through the living room to the front door he was stopped by Bro reaching over the couch and grabbing at his sleeve. He jerked his hand away but stopped walking.  
"What the hell do you want?" he demanded; he had places to be. People to meet.  
"Oh-hoho. Snippy I see. Where you off to? Finally land a date with your man?" his voice was teasing and haughty. The TV was paused and he had turned to look at Dave over the back of the couch. The light from the plasma screen cast odd shadows over Bro's face, especially with his shades sitting on the couch beside him. Orange eyes stared at dark sunglasses. Dave blinked a few times, and narrowed his eyes.  
"It's not a date. It's a platonic outing. And I'm late. Bye," he called as he turned on his heel and opened the front door.  
"Don't put out on the first date, sis!" his brother shouted as the door slammed. God dammit. 

The walk to the park was short but annoying. There were a few clouds dotting the otherwise clear summer sky. The sun barely peaking through, but it was enough to make Dave start to sweat slightly and hurry into the shade of the tree lined paths in the park. A few kids played on the equipment, a few joggers, some couples sun bathing. Dave crossed a small wooden bridge to the other side of the park, where most of the teenagers hung out by the pond. He heard John's voice before he saw him. Much to his discomfort, he remembered the puberty-ridden voice just as clear as his brothers.  
John stood beneath a small tree near the edge of the pond. He had on some shorts and a tee shirt. There was a younger looking boy with fluffy hair sitting beside a grinning red headed girl by the tree. Dave didn't bother to try to catch up with whatever John was saying. He was in the middle of some story, waving his arms around and laughing to himself every now and then. Dave stood a few feet behind him and watched him act like a dork.  
"John can you shut the fuck up for about two seconds and look behind you," the other boy suggested. John stopping talking immediately and whipped his head around quickly, a smile instantly gracing his features. Blue braces flashing and blue eyes matching the sky. Dammit. Yeah. There it was again. The quickening heart beat and the nervous stomach flops. Dave was about ready to just say fuck it and cave. Befriend John. Woo him. Court him. Kiss him. Oh shit, kiss him.  
His thoughts ran wild for a few seconds, imaging it, playing with the idea, before he forced it from his mind just like he forced a smirk onto his face.  
"So what're the plans, John?" he asked, stepping around to other two and eyeing them for a moment.  
The boy seemed short, stocky even. He had a round face and muddy red hair that hung in his eyes and over the collar of his long sleeve shirt. His shoulder was plastered to the girls beside him. Some grinning blonde with teardrop shaped glasses and a wicked scar on her arm. There was a folded up walking cane beside her. Huh, maybe she was blind.  
"We were just planning on hanging out here for awhile. This is Karkat and Terezi by the way, they're dating," John gestured to the two. The boy sat up quick with John's words and fucking hissed. He hissed. What.  
"We are not dating you sack of shit. She's a friend. A friend. Can you understand that or do I need to spell it out for you because obviously your interpretation of friendship is a little scewd," the boy spit in a harsh voice. The girl, Terezi, leaned heavily on Karkat's shoulder and made a sad whiny noise.  
"I'm not good enough for you?" she asked with a pout. The boys eyes went wide before he tensed and flushed.  
"Shut up both of you. Just get up and let's go do something that doesn't involve pestering me," with that he stood and helped the girl up. She held the cane in one hand and Karkat's arm in the other.  
John and Dave walked along side each other, Terezi and Karkat following slowly behind. They were muttering back and forth, about stuff Dave didn't care to ease-drop on. They seemed interesting enough, but a little too wrapped up in each other for his taste. Maybe they were soul mates. Who knew. Point was, he didn't really care. What he did care about, though, was the way John's hand kept accidentally bumping his. And the way the sun light was peek from behind the clouds every now and then and shine down on them too bright and make John's hair glisten. The way his eyes looked gray from the side and blue in the light and navy in the shade. Or even how his smile never seemed the waver.  
It wasn't long, maybe half a lap on the jogging trail through the park before Karkat and Terezi slit from them and went to sit on a bench in the shade. John didn't want to stop walking, however, he said he liked the sun. Liked the heat. And the wind. So Dave went with him and they talked the whole way.  
About how John was thinking about trying out for football even though he was a really slow runner. How his half-sister Jade was coming to visit at the end of summer. His favorite movies. His obsession with magic as a kid. What he wanted to do when he grew up. About how his parents used to fight sometimes when they thought he was asleep. How lonely he was as a kid. John talked a lot about other people, about his friends and family and how much he worried about them and thought about them.  
And Dave talked about himself too. He told stories about his odd childhood. Of growing up not knowing his parents and being raised by two boys. He talked about how many re-blogs his apple juice videos got on tumblr. About the summer his brothers would make him fight if he wanted to do anything. About the time they went to California and Dave discovered he was afraid of the ocean. How sometimes he would get really scared of growing up and being a no body. Dave talked a lot about people he didn't know yet, ones he wanted to meet and ones he hoped to never meet.  
The conversations didn't end once they went home. They texted late into the night. Until John fell asleep half way through a reply and Dave worried he'd freaked him out with something.  
Things went smooth. It was easy. To talk to John. It was too easy. He didn't feel the need to hide behind sass or backhanded confessions. It was real, natural, raw. Like his soul was bare and there was no were to hide. Just words. Real words. But he didn't care. Because it was John he was talking to. And the meaning of that was changing. It was changing from just someone he could tell anything to, to someone he trusted beyond anything else. Someone he cared for. His best friend. But so much more.  
It was two weeks of late night chats and mid afternoon phone calls before Dave realized what was happening. He was slipping. The thought of kissing a boy, of kissing John, or loving a boy, marrying one, it wasn't repulsing anymore. It wasn't something he rejected or refused. It was just a thing. Like him having blonde hair. Just another normal thing in life. And that scared him.  
It scared him a lot.  
And he wanted to talk to John about it, because he could talk to John about anything and that made him special, but he couldn't because it was John. John. The one he was falling for.  
It was a Saturday night. Bro was out on a job and Dirk was asleep on the couch. It was somewhere around midnight and Dave was mid-conversation with John about how their favorite comedians, when it just hit him. Like a truck. Like all the weight in the world came crashing down on him in this sudden realization that. Oh no. Oh shit. He was falling for John.  
It was happening. It was real. They were soul mates. Meant to be together since the day they were born. Perfect for each other. Different halves of the same soul.  
But Dave wasn't stupid. He knew that things could go wrong. People weren't written in stone. Some could change. Be swayed. Tricked. Taught wrong. Some pairs that are supposed to love each other can't. Something is in the way. Something keeps them apart. It wasn't common, but it happened. One falls in love with the other but the feeling are never returned. That's what was happening. Dave was done. There was no going back. John was it. The only he could love. Would ever love. He could feel it in his bones. He knew it wasn't just some hormonal crush, this was real. It was solid. It was fact. That made it hurt so much more. So so so much more. Because John would never return his feelings. He would never feel the same happiness of getting to look into his soul mates eyes and feel his lips on his own. Because Dave was his soul mate. But Dave was a boy. And that would never work. John had said it enough times. Proven it enough times. In his back handed comments on cute girls hair. With the way he grinned and blushed when the woman cashier flirted with him.  
Dave was fucked. He was fucked so bad.  
It wasn't fair. Finally, finally, he accepts it. His soul mates a guy. Big deal. He was still cute. Still perfect. Still everything he wanted and needed. But it just wasn't going to happen. It just couldn't. Because even if Dave could accept it, John couldn't. He wouldn't. Some people just can't. Dave would have to accept that. He would have to make due with a friendship. Just a friendship.  
He ended up crying into his pillow until his eyes stung and he was too exhausted to stay awake. The thought of 'you will always be alone' circling his mind as he relaxed. That thought became as true as the fact that he had blonde hair or that he was falling for his best friend John.


	5. Chapter Five: Mixed Signals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few quick scenes and one hurtful conversation.

A hollow ache blossomed in his chest and persisted for weeks into summer. He spent most of his time holed up in his room, texting John and trying to keep his dignity up while he shoveled vanilla bean ice-cream into his mouth and cried over Lifetime movies. The pity party, pessimistic lapse got to the point where his brothers actually stopped posting 'Caution: Dave is going through menopause' signs everywhere long enough to realize that hey, their lil' bro might actually be hurting here. And instead of telling him to suck it up and stop being such a piss about mushy lovey things like he expected, they actually sat him down and gave him a long winded pep talk. Which basically boiled down to, "You're a Strider and hotter than a southern summer so perk up and give it your best go. He'll come around." Or something to that effect. It sounded pretty stupid and a little sarcastic, but Dave knew that was about as good as he was going to get in his socially awkward family so he took it to heart.  
The advise did ease his anxieties. He managed to pull himself from his little self-doubt haze and actually spend some quality time with his best friend. Nearly everyday they would hang out. Whether they just walked through the park a few times before lunch and talked or marathoned the Harry Potter movies and slept over for days on end, they were together. And that's all the mattered to Dave. That and hopefully wooing John into returning his feelings. He pulled all his charms and gentlemanly skills on the kid. He pulled out the chair for him when they went and ate Chinese food with his Dad. He paid for lunch when they hung out and he could afford it. He drew John stupid comics and blew up his Facebook page with notifications. He let him pull stupid pranks and let him touch his timetables and even let his see his eyes one Thursday afternoon. None of that crap worked, though, he was still as platonicly Egbert as ever. Which was a blow to the Strider's self esteem is nothing else.  
He tried not to let any of his failed or shot down attempts at intimacy eat at him, though. He focused on the present. And when the now wasn't good enough he thought of past moments when he could think back and tell himself that the twinkle in John's eye while he smiled was meant for him. Or that the reason his braces changed from blue to red was because it was his new favorite color. Or that the reason John started watching good movies and keeping up with Supernatural was because Dave liked them. He liked to think of the little acts and short seconds when he could pretend that John was his. When he could lie and say it was love in the brunettes eyes. When he could lie and tell himself the reason John let him spend the night so much and share his bed was because he liked the way it felt to wake up and have a familiar warmth beside him.  
But he knew that wasn't true. Deep down, below the lies that kept his hopes up and kept him from giving up altogether. He knew that to John he was just Dave. Just a boy and just a friend and the thought of anything more made John sick. He was okay with that. So he told himself. But somewhere in his heart he knew that was a lie to. A selfish one. 

*

It was a Friday night, well into the month of June, and hot as balls. It was John's first time visiting the Strider household and Dave made a point of cleaning up beforehand and bribing his brothers to act civil. Which meant Bro 'accidentally' left gay porn on in the living room when John arrived. And Dirk 'accidentally' left the door unlocked and let John walk in on his changing in the bathroom. Assholes. Perverted assholes. They were just lucky John wasn't so easy to scare off. No, he just laughed good-naturally and swore to prank them back. That just made Dave's nerves spazz and he nearly had a fit when John wouldn't elaborate on what exactly that fucking meant.  
Despite the rocky start to the day, Bro and Dirk eased off as the sun went down. Dirk left for a meet up with some guy and Bro left for work. So they had the place to themselves for a few hours, to which Dave was thankful. He didn't have to worry about what his brother's where going to do to try to embarrass him now. He could just enjoy his time with John.  
And enjoying time with John during his first visit to the Strider household meant snickering quietly while watching John try to navigate the messy house when they had barely any lights on. He nearly tripped a few times but righted himself in time and adjusted to the dimness quickly. It was endearing. To see the boy stumble around for the sake of the comfort of his friend.  
A pulse of pride swelled in Dave's chest, abiding the hollowness there, when he realized why John didn't ask about the light situation. He knew already; he knew about their light sensitivity. He didn't comment or complain either, just nodded and smiled and understood. John got it. He didn't have to ask. He didn't whine about it. He just knew. Because he knew Dave. Because he understood Dave and cared about his feelings and and-  
And it was just so much in such a little gesture that Dave wasn't even sure he knew he did. But it only made the ache in his chest grow and magnify until he couldn't stop himself and he was reaching out to the boy.  
His hands where numb and his heart throbbed with how fast it beat when he pulled John into a hug. They stood in the middle of Dave's room, in the middle of setting up his X-Box.  
John didn't push him away. He was warm and smelled like vanilla and Axe.

*

It had become a tradition for them to meet at the local smoothie shop every Monday to buy each other a drink and plan the week. Most of the time John showed up first. He knew that Dave liked the strawberry mint smoothies. There was always one waiting for Dave when he arrived. And he would always get John a blue raspberry and pineapple smoothie. They would always take a sip of each others, grimace and pass it to the other. It was just tradition.  
It was expected every Monday for Dave to smile behind his straw and tell John complexly ridiculous stories just to see him grin. John would always flash his red braces and his blue eyes would melt into a deeper pool of sky and sea and Dave's breath would hitch and his heart would tug painfully at the sight. And he would always ignore the way John's hand brushed over his while they chatted and the way he so easily held eye contact even when he wore his shades. And Dave pretended like he didn't notice the way John blushed when there was a lull in conversation and he was caught staring. And when John started rubbing his feet on his own he would just pull his under the chair and look away because dammit John don't get his hopes up. Please.  
But then Dave would look up and see some emotion in John's eyes and he would feel this burning rise in his chest and he knew it was hope and he knew the ache was lessening everyday. He just hoped John realized what he was doing. He hoped it wasn't in his head. 

*

July 4th roled around. There were no nice places to swim. No close lakes or rivers to watch the fire works on the water like Dave wanted. But he had a roof and a ladder and two stolen beers that tasted like shit. But he got to spend the night with his best friend. His soul mate, even if John didn't know it. And he was happy.  
He didn't notice until after the final flash of sparkling color lit across the black sky that the warmth in his palm with John's hand.  
John just continued to star at the sky long after the fire works ended. Dave stared at him. Neither of them spoke.  
And it was almost perfect.

*

Waking up with a warm mess of hair in his face should have pissed Dave off. But it was John and he smelled good and he felt good against him. So he just wormed closer and hugged the boy to him and sighed deeply. John snuggled to his chest, relaxed. Dave dozed back to sleep, but John remained awake, searching his mind for answers to questions he wasn't ready to face yet. 

*

Dave was going crazy. There was no other explanation. John was acting so weird. Not only did they hold hands and maybe snuggle (God he hoped that wasn't a dream) but John was obviously throwing up some signals. And they all flashed "I AM TOTALLY HOT FOR YOU SO KISS ME" or at least that's what Dave got out of it. The hard part was how to react though. He hadn't even talked to John about the Timer ordeal. And the whole "We are actually soul mates, bro, so I hope you're fond of gay stuff," never really came up in conversations.  
So to say he was panicking would be an understatement. He honestly had no idea what to do. Who to ask for advise. His first instinct was to talk with John but oh wowie, that option was out the window for obvious reasons. In loo of John he talked to himself. Replaying his brothers' encouraging words to boost his confidence. It took a full week of brooding before Dave was able to scrape up the courage to breach his thoughts to John. 

They were sitting in John's bedroom floor watching Breakfast Club, leaned up against his bed. Dave's hands were shaking and he had his sunglasses on despite the darkness. He licked his lips and blurted it out. His words hung stale in the air. John tensed beside him.  
"John, do you like me?"  
Almost an entire scene played out before the silence was broken. Neither of them moved. John didn't look away from the TV and Dave kept shooting his friend panicked glances from his peripheral vision. John's mouth was pressed into a thin line. His face forcefully passive. He was too still.  
"What are you talking about?" His voice was quiet, testing. Almost daring Dave to call him out on it. Almost threatening. Dave swallowed loudly, his throat felt dry and unused.  
"You have sort of been..sort of flirting. Right? I didn't imagine it. I don't think I did," he sounded compliant and unsure. And when John didn't reply or move immediately he added in a rushed breath, "You know we're soul mates, right? You and me? I didn't believe it either. Trust me it's still kind of weird but...I kind of, like you? Like, like like you. If you..know what I mean by that."  
"Dave my Timer was broken. It was broken and we are just friends and soul mates aren't real."  
Dave wanted to argue but the tension in John's eyes when he turned to look at him made Dave freeze and everything fade away and all he could feel was the ache in his chest spilling through him. It echoed from his bones to his blood and he snapped his gaze to the floor and bit his lip to keep the tears away because he was falling apart right there and it was so fucking pathetic. He was supposed to be the strong one. The stoic, cool guy. But how could be keep a pokerface when his soul mate just ripped his fucking heart out with a look. God dammit. It hurt.  
He decided maybe it was time to actually give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will only be a few more Chapters after this. Sorry it took so long. I have been busy. This won't be abandoned, though. So don't worry.


	6. Chapter Six: Maybe..

The advances and flirtatious actions stopped immediately after that night. And Dave wasn't sure if he was grateful or regretful. No, he was more broken. He could count on one hand the amount of times he had cried over emotional pain; but when he rushed home that night- calling his brother and begging to be picked up even though it was almost midnight- he barely made it to his room before he was falling apart completely. Body wracking sobbing, snotty sniffling, gasping breaths, the whole nine yards. He felt like the smallest fucking child. The most pathetic guy he'd ever known. Like a piece of shit.   
Was this his fault?  
Was it his fault that his fucking soul mate doesn't even want him? God what was he doing wrong? He'd been so nice. So patient. So- so..selfish.  
He was being selfish.  
Pursuing what he wanted. Trying to take what he felt entitled to, what he thought was his. But he had no claim over John, soul mate or not. He had no right to flirt or to assume John would ever love him. He was joking himself into a false reality. He was sick. Sick in the head. Fucked up.   
He didn't talk to John after that night for almost a week.  
Dave was the one who finally caved. He caved and sent John a short little message early one morning when he realized the sun was coming up and he hadn't slept. It was just a short apology, a little 'sorry man lets forget about that please i hope we can still be friends'. He wanted to say so much more. To tell John how much he meant to him. To explain how amazing and perfect he was, how perfect they were together. To make him believe it and accept it and accept him and want him and love him back. But he couldn't. He couldn't do that. Because he had no right to. He had no right to say any of that. Because John didn't want him like that. Didn't want them to be soul mates. Dave just wanted John to be happy. If that meant not being the one to make him happy he would have to live with it.   
It was almost noon before John texted back. They talked for a few hours, slow texts spanning over fives of minutes at a time. Dave could tell John was being careful, could tell he felt guilty for hurting Dave. That didn't make him feel any better though. Sure it meant he cared, but not in the way Dave wanted. So he pretended he was perfectly okay and they planned to hang out again the following weekend.   
Dave hoped he felt better by then.

Neither of them mentioned the Incident after that. Slowly, so slowly, they got back to normal. Things got back to normal. They were back to joking and nudging at each other and laughing. But they didn't hold hands anymore. And their hugs were short and formal feeling now. And sometimes-- actually it was more like constantly, the whole time they hung out in person-- Dave would catch John looking at him with this pitiful look in his eyes. It sent little burning shocks of discomfort down the blonds spine. He did not want pity. He had enough of that from himself.   
He can't help but get pissed off one evening. They had just been lounging around, watching shitty sitcoms, waiting for John's dad to get back with dinner. John kept shooting him these looks. Kept fidgeting. He couldn't keep still. It was legs crossed, legs tucked, foot tapping, fingers drumming. And it was driving Dave crazy.   
"If you've got something to say just spit it out, Egbert," he nearly hisses, not even bothering to look over at his friend. And damn if that word didn't sting.   
John almost jumped. He seemed surprised at being called out on his actions. He fumbled for a moment, confusion and embarrassment painted on his face. Dave would have smiled at the look, taken it to heart and tried to memorize it, but he was working hard on keeping his thoughts platonic, working hard on stomping down his hopes and dreams for John. With John. They would never happen anyways, what was the point in daydreaming over something that only brought him pain anymore.  
"No, sorry I'll be still," he mumbled, snapping his eyes from the blond. And he did still after that. But he also stopped talking until his dad showed with food. He seemed lost in thought. It wasn't a one day occurrence, either. Every time they hung out John would end up staring off into space, a confused, slightly fearful expression on his face. But then Dave would say something and the moment would end so abruptly Dave wasn't sure if it had happened.   
The weird little moments picked back up, too. The casual touches and shared looks. Dave lived for those moments. He knew he shouldn't. Knew it would only end in hurt for him. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop himself from getting his giddy feeling rushing through him every time John so much as said his name.   
He was willing to forget all the pain and hurt, and the rejection. He was trying to. He wanted to. Wanted to hope that John would eventually return these feelings. Because why would he not? But then Dave would remember that John saw him as a friend. A good friend. But only a friend. And then he would quickly stomp those hopeful ideas down to dust.

August was approaching fast, that meant school. That meant only seeing John on weekends. So they tried to pack in as much time together as possible. They saw each other every day, it felt like. Always texting when they weren't together. They were inseparable. Like a pair, buy one get one free. Dave tagged along with John and John followed along with Dave. It just was. Just was. Dave told himself it didn't mean anything. He wished it did though.  
"So every August me and my brothers go to Six Flags before school for a weekend. We're leaving in two weeks and Bro wants to know if you'd be interested in accompanying us," Dave informs, sprawled out on one of the two lounge chairs on John's deck patio. John has this nice two story house with a big backyard and a patio and an old swing set that's rusted. Dave liked it there. Likes the way it always kind of smells like carpet cleaner and vanilla frosting. He likes how they can lounge on the back porch under the awning and keep warm-- because his house is always like fifty fucking degrees and Dave has resorted to lugging around John's Power Ranger comforter (one gifted to him on his birthday by a very generous best friend actually).   
"Sounds cool, you guys stay at a hotel or something? How long's the drive?" He meets Dave's gaze, raising his eyebrows as question.  
"Yeah we usually all three share a room but I think Bro said he'd get one for us and one for him and Dirk if you go. The drive is like four hours from here. Not too bad. We'd leave early Friday and get back around seven on Sunday. If you want, I can have Bro call your dad," he lazily flops his hand onto his chest in some half aborted gesture to something. The sun is making him feel like jello. Napping doesn't sound too bad.   
" 'Kay, sounds like a plan, then." Dave can hear the smile in his voice without having to look over at his friend. That word still stings. But Dave is dealing now. He's managing. He just wants John happy, he keeps telling himself. Don't be selfish. Don't push it. He doesn't love you. Let it go. And he's trying.   
Oh God he is trying.  
"Are you bored? If you wanna sleep go home dude," John's voice shakes him awake a bit. He cracks an eye open enough to see John staring at him. Well glaring. A half hearted sort of glare.   
"Not my fault you're a shit host," he huffs, turning so his back is facing John, just to see what kind of reaction he would get.   
"Oh well then if that's how it is. Maybe I should just go inside and hmm, I don't know, lock the door," he hears the chair scrape across the wooden deck. Feet padding across the patio.  
"Wait, don't-" he manages, jumping up and nearly tipping the lounge chair on it's back. He jerks back up, moving to stand and follow John but he's already at the door, a wickedly smug grin on his face. He wiggles his eyebrows mockingly a few times before sliding the glass door closed and dramatically locking it.   
"Woops," is his muffled reply, sucking his lips into his mouth and then grinning widely. His braces shine slightly in the sun and Dave narrows his eyes into a real glare.  
"I'm gonna kick your punk ass if you don't unlock this door, so help me God Egbert!" his voice rises in pretend anger, already at the door and yanking like he could actually get it to open despite the lock.  
"That is if you can get inside. Oh man I bet it's hot out there isn't it. I can practically feel the heat. My my," he's taken this weird overly fake southern accent and is strolling over to his fridge. He throws the freezer door open and makes a show of digging around for a few seconds before returning to the door with a popsicle in his hand.   
A red fucking popsicle, the ones he doesn't eat and keep specifically for Dave because they are his favorite.   
"John." Dave's voice is warning. He'd better not.  
"Think I may need to cool down," he informs seriously, opening the wrapper slowly and moving it to his lips.   
"Don't you dare do it." He's hitting on the glass now with balled up fists, forehead plastered to the door.  
John just flicks his tongue out and drags it up the side of the cold treat slowly. Dave yells and bangs on the door again.   
"John please!"   
The brunette is barely holding in his laughter. He licks it again, watching as Dave grimaces and smooshes his cheek to the glass, begging now.   
"Please, I'm sorry, don't eat my popsicle, please. That's the last one, I just fucking know it. Please, John. Joooohn."   
He does eat it though. Which just ends with Dave sitting in front of the door, fake crying and banging his head softly against the glass like he just watched his brother die or something.   
"Come on, man. Let me inside. I'll be good," Dave is muttering. He seriously does want inside now though. It's hot outside. The wind isn't blowing anymore. And he can practically feel the AC behind the door.   
He nearly falls on his face when the door is jerked open. Quickly scrambling to his feet he rushes past John and straight to the fridge. Throwing it open the icy air hits him in the face and he groans at the feeling. He lets it chill his skin before actually moving to check on his secret stash of red popsicles. He knew he had one left in the box as a decoy, the one John ate. But he also knew there was one hidden behind the tub of Rocky Road for emergencies. Except when he moved the ice cream nothing was there but a blue one. A fucking blue one!  
"Looking for this, hot stuff?" John's leaning casually against the counter, on the other side of the island, red popsicle held up in his hand like a trophy.   
"Give it."   
"Make me."  
And that's all it takes for Dave to slam the fridge closed and dart after John. But John was prepared, and he runs to the opposite side of the island. They both circle it slowly, eyeing each other like animals. Dave can't help but think of that show he watched on Animal Planet about gazelles and cheetahs or whatever. Which just leads to him picturing John with antlers and then he can't help but smile. Which totally ruins the whole pretend tense atmosphere, because John smiles back and then they're darting around the island again, in circles. John's fast, but Dave's taller and he only runs a few more times around before thinking 'fuck it' and leaping onto the counter to grab at the boy. John yelps, laughing and stumbles back. But Dave has a hold of his sleeve and it's a momentum, body weight thing that leads to them both tumbling to the floor, laughing and still both trying to get at the damn frozen treat.   
"Just. Give it. Up!" Dave is grunting, trying to pry John's fingers from around the damned thing. The other boy is just laughing, though. So loud and carefree. Dave's never heard him laugh so hard. It makes him pause, loosening his grip and looking at John without obstruction-- because his shades fell off at some point.   
John's face is flush. He's smiling widely and taking little huffing breathes. His head is thrown back, eyes shut in glee. He snorts every now and then, shaking from the force of his fit.   
Dave wants this moment to last forever. He loves how free and gorgeous John looks. Loves the way his heart is beating so fast in his chest he's sure the other boy can hear it.   
It takes a few minutes for John to calm down. He slowly opens his eyes. They're glistening with tears. Happy tears. Dave smiles a little wider at the sight. So blue.   
They just lay there, looking at each other. For what feels like forever. Neither of them look away. Dave's not sure if he could look away if he wanted to.   
Have John's eyes always been this brilliant? This breath taking?   
He's not sure. But they are right now.   
Their breath are starting to mingle. When had he moved? They're closer now. Moving so slowly. But it's lost. He's lost in the moment. Lost in the blue. In John's eyes. In John.  
He doesn't even realize what he's doing. How he's leaned up to prop himself up on his elbow, peering down at John.  
And something about this seems unavoidable, inevitable.   
Dave's leaning closer, the moment is slowing more now. Like time has crawled to a stop, they've somehow created their own personal bubble of space. Filled with only each other.  
All he can hear is the blood rushing in his ears. All he can see is blue.   
He's moving on auto pilot now, not really doing this, but not stopping it. Just experiencing it. And it's perfect. The perfect moment.   
There lips are about to meet. He can feel the warm puff of breath over his mouth, feel the static tingle in the air between them. He feels numb.  
Then everything snaps like glass, the moment shatters as the front door slams open and a deep voice is calling out, "Come help me carry these groceries in, boys!"   
And they are jumping away from each other, like they've been burned. John's standing and scrubbing at his face, trying to hide his blush. Dave barely manages to slide his shades on and pick up the forgotten popsicle before John's dad enters the kitchen, arms full.  
And all Dave can think about is how John didn't push him away. All he can think about is blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and this is done!  
> Sorry it's taken me so long, I am a very lazy person..Uh and I don't think I will be writing a JakeDirk sequel, I'm sorry. But if someone else wants to use this as a prompt or idea or even just like make some spin off, that'd be cool. Anyways, I'll try to get the last chapter up and this thing done within the month. Or atleast the end of summer. Hopefully.  
> Yell at me until I do it.


	7. Chapter Seven: Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn't it be funny if Bro lost his hat while he was riding one of the rides at Six Flags. Pft. Unbettad I am editing right after I post this.

They don't talk about the almost kiss. Dave doesn't even try to bring it up. Doesn't even think about trying to get John to admit anything. If there is anything. He hopes there is something. Friends don't do that do they? They don't just almost kiss their best friends right? That has to mean something. John wouldn't- No no. Stop. Just. Don't think too much about it. Maybe John just needs some time to adjust. Some time to accept it. To mull over the idea, the fact hopefully, that he isn't 100% straight. Not everyone is as flexible as Dave, after all. He just needs time. And Dave can- will- give him that. Because if there is one person Dave will wait on, it's John.  
Those are all just cloudy, swirling, circling thoughts, though; ones the youngest Strider can't seem to rid himself of. They keep flowing around in his head, demanding attention. But he's a busy guy and he can't spend all his time thinking about what ifs. Nope. There are people to see and shit to do. Specifically, pack a bag for the trip to Six Flags, which is in oh- about two hours. Fuck. Yeah. He sort of forgot to pack.  
Okay so he didn't forget to pack. There were a lot of funny videos to watch on YouTube that wouldn't let him sleep or move all night.  
He's not complaining though, the ride is long enough he can catch a nap on the way. God he hopes they don't fuck with him while he sleeps. He would not hold that above his family or John. Actually, now that he's thinking on it, Dave's pretty sure he's just going to power sleep tonight at the hotel. At least then it will be him and John only and he'll be sure the brunette falls asleep first.  
Packing takes Dave about a full hour by the time he gets around to it. He ends up showering and eating a huge breakfast before he even drags out the ancient dufflebag from his closet to stuff. By then he's much more awake and ready to move around. Bro and Dirk are already riding his ass about being late- it's barely seven how the hell are they awake. So Dave makes quick work of throwing a few changes of clothes and some other essentials. And he barely has the thing zipped closed before Bro is yanking the thing off his bed and stomping out of his room with a grin.  
"Come on and let's go pick up your boyfriend; we got some driving to do," he calls (and Dave ignores his choice of words in order to keep his good mood) as he enters the living room and throws the bag at Dirk. It's apparently his job to carry everyones shit for some reason. He's not too happy about that. But then again Bro likes to pull the 'I'm older so I'm in charge' card a lot. Dave grabs the tiny cooler with tons of cokes and lunchables (Bro insisted) and they are all walking out the door and to the family car in no time.  
John's already waiting by the road, backpack hanging off one shoulder, when they pull onto his street. They pop the trunk and he throws his stuff back there before climbing- throwing himself more like- into the backseat beside Dave. He has a wide smile and his eyes are sparkling and Dave can't not return that kind of joyous expression.  
He wonders if John ever thinks of him and smiles.  
"You eaten yet?" Dirk asks, turning in the passenger seat to glance at the boy. John nods and buckles up as the car lurches forward. Dave feels tingly. Giddy maybe. No, he's not giddy- that's not cool enough. But the thought of the word makes him smile again. He's just excited. This is the last big adventure before school. The last big bang before boring months of learning and lonely days of no John. He's not looking forward to that. They've hung out practically every day since they became 'friends' and Dave isn't even sure when they became that much.  
John was just this pissed boy in a doctors office when he first saw him. Just some kid storming out and stomping down the sidewalk. And yet, even then he can't bring himself to say they were ever strangers. Not really. Not when..  
Stroking his thumb over the faint scar on his wrist, he can't help but let a bubbling anxiety fill his mind. John is his Soul Mate, right? The Timers.. They were right, he's sure. He's sure. But John- he still doesn't think that does he?  
Dave swallows those thoughts down and relaxes into the backseat. He could use a nap.

Texas is hot.  
Texas is very very hot. Especially when walking half a mile from the hotel to the entrance of Six Flags because someones fucking brother is a cheapskate and doesn't want to pay for parking. But hey, at least the hotel is nice. At least he's here with the few people he actually likes. It could be worse he supposes.  
So Dave can deal with a little heat. It's well worth it in his opinion.  
Besides, once he gets on the rides and is rocketing at like 80 mph he's not going to be wishing it was colder. Last time they came he was shivering after ever ride, but mostly from adrenaline. He's not as strong willed as his brothers. They've rode the Superman ten times in a row before just because there was no fucking line. Hell no.  
The lines are just starting to build when the group approaches the ticket booths. The park has been open about an hour and with it being a nice day and end of summer, it's packed.  
"Holy crap there are a lot of people here," John comments as if on queue, eyes wide and scanning the crowd. Dirk smirks at that and loops an arm over his shoulder.  
"You should come on a weekday; me and Bro managed it once. There was no one here. So worth it," he recalled.  
"I've never been to a park this big. Just a few county fairs and a water park," John replies, pulling the money from his pocket to buy his ticket.  
"Shit, man, just follow us then. We're kind of Experienced Park Goers. Don't even need a map for this place anymore," Dirk brags, straightening himself and pulling out his pre-bought Season Pass Ticket. Bro has one too. Dave and John just have to buy their tickets and the group can go. If the damn line would move.  
"Yeah right you two are going to ditch us as soon as we get inside and you know it." Dave narrows his eyes at his brothers. They just roll their eyes and turn to start planning on which to ride first.  
John takes the opportunity to lean over and grab his friends attention.  
"You know your way around, right? I really don't want to get lost here," he glances around at the people again to emphasize his point. Dave takes a moment to follow his gaze. A family of red heads walks by, about four kids in tow, all screaming and dirty looking. A group of college girls in shorts and tank tops is by the Gates talking and laughing loudly. A few suspicious looking older gentlemen standing around. The usual Texas crowd.  
"I know enough. You ain't scare are you?" he lets a smile tease his lips. John scoffs in return and turns on his heel to take a step forward in line. Finally it's moving. They're still only about half way through.  
"We should go on the Texas Giant first. It can be your initiation ride," Dave suggests, knowing the shaky carts will make John scream when they go down the hills and on the curves.  
"What's the big one called? That blue one there?" he asks instead of answering, pointing at the blue and orange rails that hang high in the sky, little carts shooting across it, the sound of screaming getting stuck in the air.  
"The Titan. It's one of the bigger rides. We can do that second."  
The next few minutes pass with John pointing out anything that can be seen from the Entry Gate and Dave naming it. They don't even notice when Bro and Dirk slip off to the Seasons Pass line- which is always way shorter and way faster.  
The line seems to move quickly while they are talking. So Dave is sure to keep a conversation going, even if it means hearing John babble on about some stupid movie he saw on Netflix, not that he minds.  
They do eventually make it to the front. And they get their tickets and then get to stand in the Admissions Line. Fucking security. That line, thankfully, moves a lot faster and not ten minutes later they are strolling through Mexico.  
"Holy shit it smells like Heaven," John grabs at his friends arm, groaning dramatically to make his point. Dave can't help but smile.  
"Tell me about it, dude. Don't eat before you ride, though, bad idea. Plus this shit is expensive. Seriously, watch your money, John, watch it," he warns, leading them through small crowds of people. John just laughs in reply, nodding like he took the words to heart. He ends up buying a $15 popcorn not an hour later.

*

He was going to say something, he'd been working up to it for at least a week. Since that damn near kiss in John's kitchen floor. No probably actually before that. John's not sure. He can't really say when he stopped being afraid really. Afraid- is that the right word? Probably not.  
He can't think of anything else to describe it as, though. Because he was afraid. In a weird way. But it was less of that, and more of unsure. Denial maybe. Self hatred? Probably.  
Because he can remember a time, not too long about as much as he doesn't like to admit, that the thought of being with another boy in any way made John's stomach turn. It just wasn't him. Wasn't right. He liked girls. He still does. But, he likes someone else now. Someone who's not a girl. And he's going to tell him dammit!  
Eventually.  
He's still nervous, though. What if Dave wants to start dating right away? What if he wants to kiss or do..other things. John's not ready for that. He's not ready to do those things with a girl, much less a boy. Still, he cares for the blond. He likes him. Maybe more than that.  
John's had crushes, yeah, and they were these jittery, nervous, trip-over-his-own-feet messes. But with Dave, because of Dave, it's not like that. What he's feeling. It's not that.  
It's something so much more pure. Something so much more raw. Something he's sure- he's so sure now- that he will never feel for anyone else. But even with all of that in mind- he knows he's not ready for anything. Not ready for anything but talking.  
But he at least owes Dave that much. Because he was a total asshole. He fucked up big time. He was blind, there at the beginning. There when Dave was so obviously trying to win him over- and he was playing along and fuck he regrets that. Not because he wishes he hadn't done it, but because he wasn't actually thinking about it then. Just going along with it. Ignoring his feelings and his thoughts and Dave's. And all that got him was a pissed of and hurt best friend and ton of guilt. He really should not have led his friend on like that- only to spit on his hopes.  
John really should do some more self-reflecting. And he hates to admit it took nearly loosing Dave to realize how important he is. How much he does care. To finally, finally, see and admit what he was and is feeling is not platonic and is not straight.  
But that still is weird and kind of uncomfortable to think about. Because he wants to be normal. No, no. Wait that was wrong. Normal is the wrong word. He wants to be.. accepted. By everyone. By society. And while Soul Mates- Soul Mates, holy shit they are Soul Mates!- are accepted, homosexual teenagers are generally not.  
So yeah, it took a long time, a lot of unintentionally hurting his best friend, for John to realize and to accept and to admit that okay- yes- they are Soul Mates, and- yes- they are in love, and that -yes- he is not straight. It's taken even longer for him to even begin to build up the nerve to broach the subject to Dave, though. Because while he is sure the boy would happily accept and return John's feelings, he knows that he did hurt him- probably a lot. And he knows that Dave is trying to get over him, and he knows that he fucked up with Dave. There is no way he's ever going to try to make a move on John again. Not after how completely it was shot down the last time (well time before the little incident in his kitchen floor because that doesn't count). So John knows that he is going to have to be the one to make a move.  
Which is daunting in itself. How should he do it? Write it down? Text? Phone call? Should he sit Dave down and have a serious talk with him? Or maybe just make a move and kiss him or something- even though he isn't sure he could enjoy that completely yet. Fuck, initiating a relationship is hard work.  
It's not until Dave invites him to Six Flags, well actually a few days of deliberation after that, that John finally decided how he is going to ask Dave out.  
He'll drop a few hints through out the day, and then right before they leave he'll just come out and say it. A real life anime confession. Maybe he'll say that too. Dave would think that's funny.  
John spends Thursday night tossing and turning, anxious smile on his face. He can't wait to see Dave's reaction.  
And he knows it's going to turn out okay. Even if he does have to have a talk with Dave about boundaries while he is.. adjusting to his revelation. But that's okay. It is. Because he knows Dave won't push it. He knows.  
He hopes.  
Friday morning is nice. The ride is fun- Dirk likes to sing to the radio and Bro likes to speed but it's nice and he likes it. Then he starts thinking about how they could some day maybe be his in-laws and then he's awkwardly biting his lip to keep in his laughter because that thought is equal parts uncomfortable and equal parts hilarious.  
Then they are at the hotel and Dave is complaining about the heat and how long the walk is going to be to the park and it's just..so..mundane and so..perfect. And John can't help but look at his friend- his Soul Mate- and smiling because he is so fucking lucky.  
Dave is so amazing.  
And he's also right about a lot of things; like the walk to the park being hell, or John screaming on almost every ride they go on.  
But John is enjoying himself. He likes the wind in his hair. He likes the way his legs shake when he's getting out of the carts. He likes he excuse to grab Dave's hand and he likes hearing his best friends loud laughter when they are at the top of the first hill. He likes how Dave tries to wear his sunglasses even when the all the attendees yell at him. He likes how Dave then refuses to open his eyes until they are back on. He likes everything about Dave. Every moment. Every muttered comment about the family two yards in front of them and every choked laughter when they are sailing around the curves of the roller-coasters. And yeah John's got it bad. But he hopes he's not the only one.  
And if the way he catches Dave looking at him while they are eating lunch, all soft eyes and small smile, means anything he knows he isn't the only one.  
He hopes at least, really, really hopes that Dave hasn't given up on him.  
When the air starts to chill and the sun is threatening to go down, and most everyone has left the park, Dave decides they should ride the big ones again before walking back. John agrees and then they are holding hands and jogging through all the little countries to start over again at the beginning. And there are no lines this time. So they don't even have to stop, don't even have to let go of each other hands.  
They just go on the same one over and over until they are both shaking and grinning and Dave isn't even trying to hide his eyes anymore. And John can't look away. Because this is amazing. This. Running through Six Flags hand in hand, riding all the gut wrenching coasters a dozen times in a row while everyone else is leaving. And he knows he's never going to forget this.  
They do have to leave though, as much as they don't want to.  
John doesn't pull his hand away, though, and Dave doesn't comment; so they just walk slowly back to the exit.  
Dave takes a moment before they leave to let his brothers know they are heading back. He doesn't get a reply. So they just start walking.  
The streets are desolate. It's gotten dark very fast, and the air has chilled considerably. So when Dave drops John's hand to wrap an arm around the shorter boys shoulders, well no one is complaining.  
They are almost back to the hotel before John gets his nerves up. He should just do it. It's been a good day. A wonderful day. He'll never forget it and he hopes Dave won't either.  
Now or never, Egbert. Just do it.  
"Dave," his voice is quiet- the air is soft around them, like the world has decided to bend around them again, grant them this one small moment- and he pulls Dave gently to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk. There is just a street between them and the hotel. It really is now or never. There is no way he is saying this crap in their room.  
This feels right anyways, how they are doing it right now.  
"I have to say something, so just..listen, okay?" John is glad it's dark, glad the street lamp above them doesn't work. He takes a second to gather his thoughts. Dave is silent; he rests his hands on John's arms for a moment to reassure his friend that he is there and that he is listening.  
"So..I know I said..I'm not gay..But that's not- you're..just.." he takes a shaky breath in through his mouth and blows it out his nose before starting again. "I think I am ready..to do this..thing..uh, this all sounded a lot better in my head, I swear okay?" And he chances a glance up at Dave.  
He's smiling so broadly, so genuine, and his sunglasses are hanging from his shirt collar and the faint light is reflecting off his eyes and oh God-  
He looks so happy.  
So relieved. And John doesn't even have to try finishing what he was saying because he knows that Dave understands. He gets it.  
"This is my anime confession, Dave," John whispers, smiling back. And he loves the way Dave immediately breaks into laughter. It makes his heart studder and his stomach jump.  
He laughs with his friend. It feels so natural.  
And then he's being pulled into a hug and its so warm and feels so fucking right and so different than any of the ones before. He hugs back.  
They don't pull away for an ashamedly long time. And neither of then say a word but it's perfect. The perfect moment.  
When they do pull away John takes a small step backwards, looking at his companion with a decided gleam in his eye.  
He grabs at Dave's shirt and pulls him down into a chaste kiss. A peck on the lips, really, fast and warm and perfect and then John is turning with a wide smile and jogging across the street. He's giddy and excited and just felt this urge to kiss him. This urge to tease.  
He wonders what kind of face Dave is making. Probably shocked and happy. He really wants to turn and look.  
"John!" his name is shouted, tone laced with panic and not shock. It makes him falter. He turns to see what made Dave yell.  
He doesn't see Dave, though.  
Just light. Blinding light right beside him, too close. It seems to grow and devour him and then it's all black.  
And then it's nothing. The edges of his mind that to dissolve.  
His last thought before the pitch dark clouds the edges and seeps into his mind is whether Dave's Timer would have blanked if he still had it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah John got hit by a car. I laughed while I wrote that. I regret nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> YO IT'S DONE! And the fucking end word count. I'm diggin' that. 
> 
> (hey if anyone feels up to it they sound take this and do a dirkjake or continue it i am too lazy)
> 
> btw thank you all for sticking around to read and review and kudo you are wonderful!


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